I'm not too happy with Congress, if you can't tell...

It's time for another exciting installment of Government Shutdown! Let's meet our contestant, a federal employee! Now, let's take a look at the fabulous prizes they could win!

Behind Door Number One: A furlough! That's right, with this furlough, you get to take off from work until Congress passes a six month overdue budget. In fact, there's no "get to" about it — it's mandatory! And, as a special bonus, you won't get paid for this time off unless Congress passes a separate bill authorizing backpay! But no worries, right? After all, government employees are such a politically popular group that they'll surely get paid eventually. Right?

And behind Door Number Two: Congratulations! You're an exempt employee! This means that you get to show up for work during the shutdown without pay! But don't worry, you'll get paid just as soon as Congress passes a budget. In the meantime, you get to live off your savings!

"What about that third door?"

Oh, you mean the one where you'd get paid during the shutdown? I'm sorry, that's for members of Congress only!

I'm apparently a proud winner of the prize behind Door Number Two…although they've been bouncing back and forth between them all week. FML.